Captain, she can't take much more!

Sigh.

Heavy sigh.

Heaviest sigh!

Have I ever told you how much I hate Mondays? How the weekly torment has made it it's sole mission to tear down every last barrier I've put up against the angst, anguish, and soul crushing bleakness that stares me in the face?

Yeah. So, it's Monday, and I'm just done. I'm actually too tired to be depressed about it right now. Maybe that's a good thing.

Last week I was feeling a moodiness, a slightly psychotic "KILL ANYTHING THAT MOVES!" -ness that is fairly typical that my lady-time is eminent. I have a few tell tale signs and that's one of the least enjoyable. And usually, sorry if this is TMI but this is a horrifically honest blog, usually I get the most ridiculously painful cramps for about 2 hours and then it eases off and I bleed out. Honestly, last month I actually soaked through- to the point of have to change my pants- an overnight pad in 2 hours. Yeah, let that sink in.

I've had pain so bad that I've actually thrown up. I've had times I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't stand up straight off the bathroom floor.

But when I practically went into seizure from the intensity of the pain last night- that was a first. It was just really inconvenient that it didn't finally let me go until sometime after 1am when I had to be up around 7am to get the boy to school.

And then I had a flat tire. Seriously. I haven't had a flat tire in nearly 12 years! And this morning! This morning when I was exhausted and still in a bit of uncomfortableness, a nail that could've taken out a rhino was lodged in my rear tire. Mother fucker.

It must've happened when we pulled into the garage on Saturday afternoon, went flat on Sunday, and made me scream Monday. Oh what fun. So I was 2 doors down the road when I stopped, and we walked home. I told Steve, and he went to put the spare on while I strapped the motorcycle helmet onto my son- we were going to take the scooter to school. Funny thing, my little 150cc scooter really needs to be run once a week to keep the battery alive. It's been about a month since it's been run because it's simply been too hot here in that time to go anywhere without a climate controlled cage environment. It took a while to get it running.

I only had to pull over once in the 2.5 miles to school to tell my son, in a sweet loving voice of course, to LEAN INTO THE BLOODY CORNERS BEFORE YOU KILL US BOTH! Actually, that's only what I was thinking. What I actually said probably was sweet and loving compared to that. I don't actually want him to be afraid of riding.

Actually, as most Mondays go, it wasn't so bad. I mean, that was a seriously crappy start and I'm still freaking exhausted. But, the tire repair was free- loving Discount Tires!- and they even put it back on and checked the other tires for me- for free- and were extremely nice about it. Groceries, although a chore still bound to send me to an asylum, was quiet today and not nearly as aggravating as usual. My son had homework this afternoon to be done before next Monday, and although we had a horrendous argument about the phrase, "When is it due?"- never did I think that would be considered a trick question- he's already slightly over halfway done of his own choosing. I wasn't even going to make him work on it today! And yet...

Steve's in meetings this evening, which I hate more than I can say, but 2 of the planned 3 have been cancelled, so I may even get some time on the couch with my husband this evening. I am dreading next week when he's away on business, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

So maybe all the bad of Monday got it out of it's system before 9am.

I'm not entirely convinced that's any better, but I'm not convinced it's any worse either.

And yes, I do realize I'm rambling. I'm just so very very tired.

My one thing for today: it is actually getting cooler. It's still hotter than dog's balls, and especially at night, but that cooler weather is trying to fight it's way through. Why is that a good thing? Because I miss sleeping under covers curled up with my husband. I love the weight of a heavy quilt and his arm around me. For the last few months, just his hand on my arm has created a pool of sweat that drips into the sheets making us itchy and uncomfortable. Soon, we'll actually be able to be close without the fear of heat induced heart attack or heat stroke. That's a very good thing.