Loosing the war

I try very hard not to get irritated when people around me are overly critical. I'm sure their hearts are in the right place, but it happens way too often. It seriously makes me wonder if I'm that big of a fuck up, or if people in our society really do think that unsolicited advice is welcome.

In other news, it's been rainy here for the last 2 days, and we're enjoying it. The weather is cool, which is a great change from the mind numbing heat of the summer. I'm still a little nervous about what winter will be like here. Everything we read said the winters are mild, but then everything we read claimed the cost of living was so much less here. People lie.

For now, though, we're enjoying the cool rainy days. Although, I can't speak for the animals.

Yesterday, it was raining hard enough that we didn't take the dogs for a walk. We also missed going for a walk on Friday because my foot has been giving me a lot of issues lately (probably because of this cool rainy spell, but whatever). So this morning when we took them for a walk, they went nuts! Sorry, Zack went nuts. He's a very high energy dog; doberman and huntaway- a NZ sheep dog bred to herd the flocks up and down the mountains all day- are the most recognizable breeds in him. We learned early on that he's next to impossible to wear out.

But he also doesn't like rain.

He loves water! Pond, river, ocean, puddle? He's in it! He hasn't been in a pool yet, but that's because he hasn't had the opportunity. But rain? That's a whole pile of nope. So when he went running out back yesterday morning for his early morning patrol of the yard, the breaks went on so fast he almost sat down as he hit the edge of the covered patio and realized that it was raining. Toby just stood on the patio looking confused.

The weird thing is- Zack is from New Zealand! He's never liked rain though. Whole months of his life were spent huddling inside until the need to pee forced him out in the weather where he'd do his business as fast as possible and run back inside to be toweled off. Of course, going for walks in the rain weren't so much of an issue. We've got a seriously heavy duty rain coat for him, and he actually enjoys wearing it. We don't have one for Toby yet since in two years living in California we got a sum total of 5 inches of rain. And I think that was over 3 days. It looks like we may have to get Toby a rain coat now, though.

And then there's the cat.

In New Zealand, she had a fun little game where she would go out her cat door at the front of the house, circle around the house, sit at the back door and meow pitifully so that I would let her in and towel her off. As soon as I put her down, she would make a bee line for the cat door, and do it all over again. Usually, she would do three times before I threatened not to dry her off the next time (an empty threat, but still), and she would find a warm spot to curl up and take a nap.

She's forgotten how to deal with the rain. In California, we couldn't let her out of the house. Now, however, she enjoys her mornings in the yard hunting bugs and lizards (she has eaten so many lizards!). The last two mornings, she has sat on the edge of the patio staring at the rain with pure hatred. This morning she turned the accusation on Steve. "Why?" she seemed to ask. "We lived for two years in a place it never rained, and you lock me inside. We move here, where it rains, you let me out. Sadistic bastards." She seems to enjoy the lizards, though.

Cute, right?

Steve and I have been busy, organizing mostly. But I also carved out enough time to finish my Halloween project I started a few weeks ago. I got inspiration from an online project: mason jar ghosts.

But, in my typical style, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't do the mason jar thing. I had to make it mine.

I'm not happy with the ghost, but
I love everything else. 

I think I inhaled some of the moss, and now I can't stop coughing. Nasty. Looking at that mason jar ghost, I think I need to get some of those little pumpkins to use around the house. I love those things.

Steve's put a kibosh on buying more Halloween decorations this year because we don't have enough room to store the stuff we already have. Which is a valid point, but I really love the 5 foot tall skeletons at Costco. He's promised me next year I can get a life sized skeleton.

I'm going to push for a 6 footer.

Yet more reasons why I'm against so called "higher education"

I'm sure that college used to be a great place before it turned into greedy, power hungry corporations taking advantage of people. 

My step-daughter is enrolled in UTI's mechanic program in California. They made a lot of lofty promises when she applied, they've broken just about every single one of those promises so far. 

They have a program to help students find work. Every time she's sent for an interview, the position has already been filled. The school said that if they couldn't find her work, they would employ her in the office on campus. It's been 4 months, she still doesn't have a job, what happened to the office work she was promised?

But now there's a new housing coordinator. She is a beast. First, she showed up at the girl's door and said they had 24 hours to move. In the middle of the week, middle of the term, no explanation given. My step-daughter is not a shrieking violet, so she complained to the director that it was totally unreasonable to give them 24 hours to move out and not provide them with alternate housing, as they are required to do. They were then given a week. 

Then, this week they're served with an eviction notice- 3 days to pay or get out and face legal proceedings on top. So I finally called housing services. The person I talked to at corporate assured me that it was a notice to pay, not that she would face eviction, and was quite surprised when I read the part that says if it's not paid within 3 days, she must leave the house and they will take her to court. Apparently they're not supposed to get that notice until after 20 days of non payment- not 8. 

I'm trying to find out how to lay a formal complaint on this woman. How dare she treat anyone this way, but especially teenagers who are just starting out! My step-daughter is really enjoying working with the cars, and I don't know if some of the other campuses are better organized, but certainly I have been less than impressed with the California campus. I'm so tired of being lied to. Don't promise assistance if you are unable to provide the assistance you promise! 

Icy hand

I can feel it. Creeping in, darkening the world. Making me feel like I can't stay awake, and not sure why I should even bother to try.

There's a bad bout of depression looming over me.

I think the thing is, it makes me so tired and so run down by life that I don't have the energy to fight it. It sucks all my will to get things done and be active right out the window and I just don't care. I just need to sleep. And it's a fight that no one can fight for me. Whenever someone, aka Steve, tries it either comes across as lies- "But you're so great at that!"- or bullying- "You can't take a nap. Get up!" Yes, there are things I want to do, but I can't. I simply cannot will myself to give a fuck.

Things that usually piss me off grate a whole hell of a lot more, too. People's ability, or more to the point their lack of ability to drive makes me cringe on a good day. Lately, it's sent into an absolute rage. Like a take a baseball bat to their windshield type of rage. And no, I haven't done that and I won't, but fantasizing about it is inevitable.

Normally, I'm upset that we live in the cruddiest little rental house and simply don't have the space to do the things we want to do. Everything is broken or falling apart, but the landlord and handyman don't seem to care. I feel like we're living in little better than a slum. Now the housing prices are going up again, and I don't feel like we'll ever get our own place again. I think it's one of the sharpest thorns in my side because we had it once. In New Zealand, we had our house. It wasn't perfect, but it was damn close, and we were making it better. It had our space, and we had a community where we belonged. I kick myself every day for giving in and giving it all up. Especially now that it keeps looking more and more like we'll never get even a fraction of it back.

I don't know. Maybe a miracle will happen. They don't happen to me, but maybe to Steve. Or maybe we'll die here in this horrible slum rental. Destitute and alone in an area that couldn't care less.

Selling stuff

Despite convincing myself that there was no way we'd be ready, Batty4Arts made our debut at the market on Saturday. We weren't 100% ready, but we were close enough. It could've gone better, but it also could've been much worse. All in all, we were slightly more than even at the end of the day. Best part: we have a much better idea of what may be successful at future markets.

So now I have a month to make some more, smaller, items. At least I have a direction. And despite loosing two days (so far) after the market from pure exhaustion, I think next month will be significantly easier. That's my hope anyway.

I was afraid that my son would be a complete nightmare sitting at the booth for 9 hours without much for him to do, but he actually enjoyed it. He kept saying how surprised he was at what a good time it was and that "it's actually fun hanging out with you guys" (meaning Steve and I). Yeah, funny that.